I am your average all-American douchebag. I enjoy a life of white privilege. My dad pays for my car, insurance, rent and paid my way through college. I had everything handed to me my whole life and am tired of all the moochers milking the system. I am a fratboy and ran down a busy highway naked with a marshmallow in my ass that I clamped tightly against my anus with my buttcheeks, which I ate afterwards for the social acceptance I so desperately crave. I never leave the house without roofies and I live on a diet of beer, buffalo wings and burgers. My friends and I bond over horrific farting contests and teabag each other's faces when drunk and passed out. I love football and crushing beer cans against my forehead.
