Balls.
"So this duck is about to cross this flooding river, when a scorpion comes by and asks for a ride. The duck says 'fuck that, you're a goddamn scorpion!' And the scorpion pleads, 'Please man, I just want to get to the other side safely, we can go our separate ways after that.' So the duck lets the scorpion climb on, and they get about half way across the river when he feels a stab at the back of his neck. Starting to sink into the water, the duck says 'What the fuck is wrong with you? Now we're both going to die!' And the scorpion shrugs and replies 'What did you expect? I'm a goddamn scorpion.'"
"The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the mat
