Occupation: Does things. On computers. Sometimes involving servers that take three months to arrive, apparently. Very thrilling stuff that you're absolutely not cleared to hear about.
Location: Somewhere with hard water, evidently. Beyond that, use your imagination.
Interests: Minding his own business—a concept some people could stand to learn more about.
Fun fact: There isn't one. Or rather, there are several, but they're filed under "classified" and "why are you still reading this."