Im like a wild horse. You cant tame me. Put some oat in the pen though, and ill come in for a nibble every day. But if you ever shut that gate ill jump the fence and you'll never see me again.

in public bathrooms i will sometime use the childrens urinal in order to feel like a giant

ive never understood why anyone would bother making a porn movie that lasts longer than 10 minutes

2 years ago i measured my penis with a wooden ruler. the irony was lost on me

there are mornings when i turn into a teenage girl and repeatedly change my outfit

i floss so my dentist will be proud of me

even when asked ive never been able to talk dirty to a women without feeling like a complete idiot