Casual is a dress

I see you move, await response,
yet in the discord I am lost. 
Your brother's words, your father's eyes,
precipitate a quick demise. 
I wanted more, I wanted both.
And inasmuch, am duly loathe.
I want the best, I want the world.
I wish the best and more, my girl.
There isn't time or place at all,
there is no break to place your fall.
I watch you writhe, I see you speak,
a broken increment drawn weak.
I render bottles, render pills,
a battle lost, reduced to wills
I wish for you what Christian was.
My brother died. I am because.