Hmmm... You know, I hate this section. I mean, how do you make yourself sound exciting?
Besides, I could literally write ANYTHING I want to here, and you wouldn't even know I was bullshitting. . . (que the Lightbulb!)
In THAT case, I'm so confident in my ability to, like, COMPLETELY KICK ASS that I like to spar with anyone willing to give it a go, regardless of where I am. In India, an enlightened holy man (Guru Sofulashitka) discovered an 8th major chakra when he shook my hand; the chakra of INDESCRIBABLE AWESOMENESS. Also, I have a 'thing' with dogs, like I can CONTROL THEIR MINDS or something. I feel kinda guilty for this, but legend has it that Ray Charles had a vision of me holding a bass guitar, and was instantly blinded by the intensity of my UNMATCHED MUSICAL BRILLIANCE, and when I blessed the Indonesian island of Bali with my superhuman presence, I was hailed as the VOLCANIC ROCK-GOD of insupressable animal magnetism. I also single-handedly saved a dozen kittens from a LEVE