I enjoy things.

I’m just like anyone else, I put my pants on one leg at a time
the only difference is when my pants are on, I spend my day keeping the internets from crashing.

I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an ASCII artist, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Kazakhstan.

I was once pulled over for speeding, but let the officer go with just a warning. I was once asked by the IRS to audit them. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I successfully breed balloon animals. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

The laws of physics do not apply to me. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.