I'm a passing butch trying to figure out how to live in a society that seems to demand butch equal masculine and masculine equal man.

I live with my partner Jen who, luckily, doesn't buy into this.

I'm disabled, polyamorous, "kinky" (it feels completely normal and natural to me, so I'm somewhat ambivalent about this term), fat, and queer.

About my disabilities: I recently learned that I have a clotting disorder (antiphospholipid syndrome) and I've had to alter my life significantly to accommodate emerging needs and impairments. It's been an incredibly emotional experience to feel "better" than I have in years while simultaneously becoming more limited in my options for fun outside of my home. I still sleep connected to an oxygen concentrator: overnight travel is still not yet possible. I wear compression stockings to help prevent new blood clots from forming. These are uncomfortable and more feminising than is simple for me to experience.

Sometimes I feel like my choices ar