Chop?

First of all ....

Hi i was actually gonna take the piss out of facenovel but i think i wont.
the names martin but you can just call me martin because thats my name and thats wat mostt people do when they want to address me in a talkitive manner.

You may know me from such shows as ...........

Well i stay in holytown its a shithole and everyone knows it but its a comfy shithole.
I work as a alarm engineer yep :).
I have a lovely Girlfriend called Dianne she nice i like her :) ...

And thats all i have to say about that..... BOOSHK