Despite appearances, I am actually an absolute LAD. I eat a lot of food from Marks and Spencer, and my bedroom is fitted with a number of different lighting options, to suit the mood. I get smashed quite a lot (after five pints or so) and as such am a bit of a (particularly limp and lifeless) chunder dragon. My saute pan has a superior non-stick coating, and my shower is spotless and free from mould. I can sprint like Caster Semenya, but only if I have a train to catch. I am a seasoned traveller, having been to dangerous places like Harlow and Runcorn. Women cannot get enough of me (they can) and I am great to share a bedroom with as I don't snore. I have encountered many illustrious people, including Rory McGrath. So as you can see, absolute LAD.