I'm faster, harder, stronger, shinier and brighter than a cat on lightning in possession of a license to casually offend.

...Well... with absolute certainty I can say I’m undecided about totally apocryphal yet not slightly ironic comments I may or may not have made. On the other hand... are fingers. However my un-manifested friend recently pointed out... at the end of the day, it's night. Quite right he was too! (There must be alternatives to night... I just haven’t seen them yet)
That’s enough of the cerebral excrement manifesting itself as words, (then spouted from my verbal orifice like the plop-plopping of lesser spotted mongoose's turds onto a corrugated roof in my vain attempt to review what I have wrote).

Thus, I bode you fare tidings. It’s a privilege to meet me and the pleasure is all yours!