Enjoy the best things in your life
Cuz you aint gonna get to live it twice

"Of course we're going to throw poo at him!" - monkeys in Madagascar

I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid-back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."

You know they call corn on the cob, corn on the cob, but that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that corn, they should call every other version corn off the cob. It's not like if you cutoff my arm you would call it Mitch. Then reattach it and call me Mitch-all-together...

I played golf...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy.That's way more satisfying...

...You're supposed to yell 'fore' but I kept thinking th