Sources who just saw you do that are now reporting that, oh man, area little brother Ryan, 5, has made definitive plans to tell, and, in addition, is going to tell as soon as Mom gets back.

-The Onion 2010 Calendar

If you would like to get to know me, please do! Simply reading the "About You" section and noticing my quote from The Onion is a good start, however, I'd absolutely adore it if you tried just a wee bit harder.

Regards,
Me