I was born in the back of a 1972 Pinto in Waterloo IA. My parents were unknown to me and I was raised by kindly gypsies.They couldn't afford another mouth to feed so I was sold at auction at the age of 6 and shipped to South America...cont in bio

I was born in the back of a 1972 Pinto in Waterloo IA. My parents were unknown to me and I was raised by kindly gypsies.They couldn't afford another mouth to feed so I was sold at auction at the age of 6 and shipped to South America to put the swoosh on Nike shoes. I ran away from this at age twelve where I survived on whits, thievery, and child prostitution. I did this for four years but as youth fades and hair begins to grow you find yourself a far less marketable commodity. I was now becoming a man and had to make use of strength and sinew so I broke off to Africa to enlist in the "blood diamond " trade. A local warlord there took a liking to me and said I could be his partner if I would do one thing, undergo the ritual castration of the