Don't be intimidated by this massive wall of text. It's actually quite welcoming.

I like to write, so fuck you. I literally live off of music and coffee. When I was a child, I would love composing and perusing through lengthy heart-to-heart Myspace autobiographical novels. However, I am a very different man now than I was 37 years ago. I'm shy, awkward, and insecure. To be blunt, silicone boobies don't really bother me that much. Apparently I smell nice, despite my au-natural scent. I sing Top 40 obnoxiously when I'm driving alone. As a teen, I dropped out of my 1st year of college to direct my focus to more important things, such as bussing tables. I liked punching through walls and kicking down doors at my crazy parties, at least until my dad kicked me out. I dislike change—much prefer when things are familiar, and dollar bills. My ex-girlfriend recently dumped me; too bad I never liked her anyway, stupid imaginary bitch. I seem to enjoy being fashionably late. My beautiful golden l