A man goes to a 5 dollar "lady of the night" and gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and she says, "it was 5 dollars, what did you expect, lobster!?"

When I was young I was terrified of earwigs because I thought they came out of your ears. Imagine how I felt when I heard about cockroaches!

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!