It has recently come to my attention that the entirety of Facebook is an "About Me" page. So here are some good one liners:

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Antonio Rodriguez can touch this.

Antonio Rodriguez is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Antonio Rodriguez won a staring contest against his reflection.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Antonio Rodriguez.

If you can see Antonio Rodriguez, he can see you. If you can't see Antonio Rodriguez you may be only seconds away from death.

Antonio Rodriguez once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Antonio Rodriguez doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

When Antonio Rodriguez looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Antonio Rodriguez and Antonio Rodriguez.