PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW!

I Aspire to be as great as Chuck Norris
I like to collect Aunt Jemima Trading Cards
I laugh at couples fighting on street corners
I constantly bathe in the aura of my awesomeness
I like to scratch and sniff old war medals
My Mom still loves me