Ladies and gentlemen, freaks of all ages. Welcome to the Jukebox of Death! Live and direct from the Nightmare District in blood-soaked Miami, F-L-A, the Jukebox of Death is a sonic smorgasbord of tunes guaranteed to satisfy the most craven of appetites! A two-hour lapse of reason, the Jukebox of Death is a deranged musical orgy for the truly mad, the loons, the poor things! And the best part is, it's absolutely free!

So step right up, and come on in. Hearing is believing! And smoking is encouraged.