COFFIN NAILS

THE TOXIC MANICURIST WAS A CUTIE KILLER.

What’s so funny about this? This joke is as funny as it is gross, at least with the photo I’m using. Believe it or not, I was going to use an even more realistic picture, but I decided it was too gross, too realistic, looking very much like what I imagine the decaying hands of a corpse might look like. Since zombies are fake, after all, I figured these vaguely realistic finger nails would more than do, that is, be more than adequate. I’m quite amazed how long the zombie fad has lasted. There are still plenty of zombie books, movies and TV programs, not to mention parties and group activities. But this joke isn’t exactly about zombies. It’s just that I realized the best place to find mangled cuticles would be on a zombie or at least a fake picture of one. What is/are cuticles? It’s the dead skin between your finger and toenails bordering the bottom of the nails that are connected to the rest of your fingers and feet. In the same way that we shou