We start the show playing some audio Mike's wife recorded of him whispering about his Italian coffee maker. Tony's been watching videos of migrants in Europe doing evil stuff. The anti-immigrant candidate for Netherlands prime minister was convicted of "discriminatory speech". Some chick had this poem about being a slut and it wasn't funny, just wacky. Incest may be on its way to being socially acceptable. A guy in Australia punched a kangaroo in the face to save his dog. Some guys live streamed themselves being chased by the cops and wrecking the car. We talk about a few of Donald Trump's cabinet nominees being perfect as far as "what's more American than____" goes.