Are the Minions basically living dildos? Or are they leg cramp-reducing banana slaves? Do they have a secret agenda of supporting the ISIS caliphate? Are teens moving to London to marry their buttplugs? Yes to all of these. Content warning! Tune in and listen as we delineate the attacks on straight guy freedom, marry a dog or two, and buy new AR-15s to kiss on this, the day of this god-blessed country’s birth.