Welcome to a live episode 29 of Rum Doings, recorded at the precise moment you choose to listen to it.
Nick begins with a quick impression of John's girlfriend, before explaining our topic for the day: Do we in England still have any politicians who are honest now, left?
Dark secrets are revealed about the prisoners in John's basement, and then his racism against glasses. Nick demonstrates some rather disturbing biological news, reveals Michael Jackson's tastes in cervixceeses, and John attempts an Elmo impression.
Find out how you are made of Coco Pops. We leap from National Trust houses to the powerful effect of John's kisses. Can you polish a turd?
And then our treatise on how everything must be done in one trip. And unshopping. Lenny Henry joins the Radio 4 Curse, Money Box Live fails to get a caller under 90, and we remember what we found funny when we were stupid.
Nick then courts controversy once more, raising our most comment-enangering subject once again. And so on.