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Lucy Hone was already an expert on resilience when she faced the worst nightmare of her life; her daughter, best friend, and best friend's daughter were killed together in an auto accident. How did she use what she knew about resilience to face her grief? What does the field of resilience have to offer grievers? And how do we decide, in each moment, which of our many human tools to activate to carry us to the next day? For Lucy, the constant question was, "will this help me or hurt me?" By paying attention to the answer and giving herself what she needed to stay connected to living, she was able (and continues) to find her way through unimaginable loss. We all benefit from one of the tools that helped her the most; writing about what resiliency research has to contribute to the conversation about grief.