- 5 years ago
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In accordance with Mayan prophecy, Seth Troxler was, in fact, a gift to Detroit techno from intergalactic house demigods from the future. Rumours that Seth Troxler is actually an alien are untrue; in the early first century these demigods kidnapped the virile first-born child of a Roman centurion and his Egyptian trophy wife. After years of travelling around the western end of the Milky Way studying linear algebra, Byronic verse, city planning, and the essentials of electronic music composition, these demigods lost young Seth to the Old God Horus in a game of trans-dimensional poker. Before Horus could consume his soul, disguised as Freemasons, they managed steal the young Seth back, and fearing the wrath of Horus, hid him in the Mid-Western town of Kalamazoo where he was raised by a kindly family of Amish.
Troxler is currently in Berlin, where he began his self-imposed exile from the United States after sleeping with then-Senator Barak Obama’s wife.