There is a severe psychological problem dogging the world’s music-makers. It’s called turophobia- the fear of cheese. In DJ booths, bars, and recording studios far and wide you can see the quaking, irrational panic of the lactose intolerant. And from turophobia flows a host of further neurotic disorders. Fear of being different, of experimenting, of smiling, of anything other than living the correctly dressed life of the professional screw-faced misery. Fear not- help is at hand.